I do not think an existential crisis is possible before the age of 40, maybe even 45. Prior to that we are knee deep in life - and all it brings with starting out . We are raising children , building a career , trying to get to a point where we are comfortable . We are busy , too busy for introspection . Existentialism requires quiet reflection and the years prior to middle age seldom offer us that . The flip side of this is maybe we know to bury ourselves in our work , in our children , as long as we can so we can avoid looking inward for as long as possible . Eventually , however , things settle . Children grow up , careers level off giving less satisfaction than they used to and all of a sudden you’re left with , gulp , YOU. And you are seldom happy with YOU. Even if you are liked and respected by others , even if you seemingly have never suffered a day in your life it isn’t enough . There has to be more . So you begin the journey inward , and this can be tricky because it usually comes with a questioning of our life choices . The questioning slowly turns into regret , which peeks into our mind like sun coming through an opaque curtain - slight but just enough to keep us awake . You begin looking at others wondering if they’re truly happy , are they questioning their lives - their marriages , careers , and their shortcomings? You become envious of those who chose different paths and are seemingly thriving and happy because that could have been you . As the years have gone by , however , and my 40’s morphed ever so quickly into my 50’s I have come to realize no one feels 100 percent happy or content with their life , or the path they’ve chosen . There are always questions about the path not taken , Robert Frost knew this in 1815 , at 41, when “two roads diverged in a yellow wood “. Reading that at 53 hits different then when forced to analyze it in English lit at a liberal arts college in 1989 when the world was still mine to take. It was all of ours to take at one point . Questions now of purpose , and what if’s, are urgent . Leaving a mark , a footprint , an impact become a beat the buzzer type situation . No one wants to exit our time here quietly , but the fact of the matter is , most people do . That silent exit , the being forgotten by others and not doing everything we feel we were meant to do, is the crux of what terrifies us. The years pick up speed as we age , and we see our hour glass running out of sand . This is what causes the deep inward search for “ what else is there “ , what do we need to do , be , discover, before that hourglass empties . No one is turning it over , no one is starting our timer over . These thoughts become common as we get closer to not being here anymore , and we seek answers . Did we do enough ? Is there more than this , that we can look forward to on another level? Because if not and I’m a believer that there is nothing else ( I want to be wrong ), we have to make this level one full of personal fulfillment , contentment and happiness . That’s a tall order , so it’s no wonder they call it an existential crisis . I have no answer , nothing to offer as a suggestion other than when looking inward decide what you can’t leave this earth without doing . Whether it’s a real tangible thing like traveling more , volunteering more , or a personal goal like focusing on your peace and happiness - whatever that looks like to you . My focus has shifted to peace , removing toxicity, whether that’s situational or an actual person who invades that peace . Spending the next chapter of life on autopilot isn’t an option . Time is pushing us all and as scary as that is , it’s scarier to not take a harder look at ourselves and see what we really , really want for the rest of our lives .
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